EDITORS NOTE: The following is an occasional column contributed by Ogdensburg native Marguerite (Peg) Cordwell Brown about her memories of growing up in St. Lawrence County. Peg, daughter of Vivian and Benjamin Cordwell, worked as a reporter for The Journal while she was a college student in the 1960s, and currently lives in Rhode Island where she is the director of development for Button Hole Golf Course and Learning Center, Providence. She hopes her column will serve as a reminder of a kinder, gentler time in the north country.
The Submarine Races
We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine
Until I heard that song, sung by Ringo Star during the 50th Anniversary Celebration of the Beatles first appearance on Ed Sullivan, the word submarine was not one I had used in a long timebut the song did tickle some memories of the past. As high school students, an invitation to watch the submarine races on the St. Lawrence was an invitation to go necking at the City Docks or the more secluded river edge, down a dirt road, past the Diamond Match factory. The only thing that submarines and watching the races had in common was heavily steamed up windows.
The whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing of our generation seems pretty tame in hindsight. But I offer this disclaimerboyfriends were not my strong suit, and I admit to be no expert on the topic. My first boyfriend was Bobby Garvey, one of the Garvey twinsin about second grade. Open displays of affection at that age usually involved friendly shoving, pushing and chasing and jumping in big piles of leaves. My next serious boyfriend was Paul McCadam–a fellow camper at the Presbyterian church camp, Oak Point. But as Paul lived beyond Morristown, it was a long-distance relationship doomed to fail.
As I remember, we went steady at what now seems to me to be a very early age. I remember receiving a friendship ring in sixth grade and wearing it around my neck on a gold chain. (And they called it puppy love!!) Wearing class rings to symbolize you were taken had to wait until our junior year where these more serious tokens were either worn on chains or on your ring finger, made to fit by yards of white adhesive tape. Kissing and other preliminary stuff certainly occurred. In the junior high years, parlor games like spin the bottle and post office were ways to get an early introduction to physical expressions of affection. While I remember that spin the bottle involved sitting in a large circle on the floor and literally spinning a bottle, hoping it would stop while pointing to the latest heartthrob in the room, whom you then took into a closet for a kiss (which of course happened in only about 20 percent of the cases), I really forget the details of post office. Let it be said that I was not among those who were considered the most desirable picks.
Boys rated their ability to explore the female anatomy in baseball terms (getting to first, second and third baseand, of course, the elusive home run), and French kissing was truly progressive. If you did have a steady, you could be sure that the breaking up process would be full of drama. Neil Sedaka had it right in his 1962 signature song, Breaking Up Is Hard to Do,especially in a small town where everyone knew everyones business. Without the advantages of social media, locker rooms and girls bathrooms were the best place to pick up the sordid details of the latest break up. I remember one of my friends asking me to return her steadys ring, accompanied by a white envelope filled with a gold chain all separated in little links. Her explanationI want him to know Im really broken up about this. Could we ever have been this young?
Lets be honest. Sex education of any formal type was almost non-existent as we were growing up. We did have some primary source materialsLady Chatterleys Lover made the rounds in more than one study hall. Hidden behind an open text book, one never read the whole paperbackjust the pages that had been dog-eared and marked as hot. Health was not yet part of the New York State curriculum, and although 10th grade biology (raise your hand if you remember Teddy Bear Stratford), included academic information on reproduction, there was certainly no talk of birth control, sexually-transmitted diseases sexual abuse, date rape or sexual preference. Many girls were prepared for the changes wrought by puberty through films shown at their churches, with titles such as Youre a Young Lady Now.
We have to remember that we were of the generation where Lucy and Desi, although married in real life, had to sleep in separate beds on their television show because of the censors. We should also remember that for much of the 20th century, women who married had to quit their jobs as teachers (hence, so many Misses in our elementary school life). Later, married teachers who were pregnant had to resign and as late as the 1950s, the discussion of evolution in science classes was still a bit dicey.
Was there sexual activity among teenagers in this rather Puritanical time? Of course. The first birth control pill was not marketed until 1960, but it wasnt until 1972 that the Supreme Court legalized birth control for all citizens, irrespective of marital status. Abortion was illegal until Roe v. Wade in 1973. So what happened to young women who became pregnant in the 1960s? Most of them were sent away to give birth to their babies and then place them for adoption. Many returned to finish their high school education, and few ever discussed the reason for their absence. Even in a small town like Ogdensburg, these pregnancies remained in the shadows.
Let me end on a somewhat lighter note. I was reading over the messages written in my yearbook. I think I missed my first proposal. On the inside flap I found the following message, I want to truthfully know if you could put up with seriousness like this the rest of your life. I was just 16no wonder I Im just getting it. I guess there was more than one reason that the song title beside my picture in the yearbook is What Kind of Fool Am I?
Authors Notes: Yellow Submarine, written by McCartney/Lennon in 1966 was originally intended to be just a childrens nonsensical song. The critics of the time often tried to put a social or political spin on the meaning. Puppy Love, written by Paul Anka for Annette Funicello (his girlfriend), in 1960 reached the number two spot on the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart in that year. Lady Chatterleys Lover, written in 1928 by DH Lawrence was published first in Italy. It was not until 1962 that an unexpunged edition was published and the book started to make the rounds of adolescent bedrooms and locker rooms. Ann Fesslers, The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade, (Penguin 2006), includes hundreds of interviews with young women who were sent away, usually to a facility run by a Catholic charity, until they gave birth to babies who were then taken away for adoption. Despite the legalization of abortion and the easy access to contraceptives, the number of out of wed-lock births has soared since 1965. In 1965, only 3.1 percent of white infants were born to single mothers; by 1990 that statistic had risen to 18 percent. Four of every 10 babies are born to unwed mothers, and two-thirds of those babies are born to women under the age of 30. Today one in three children is being raised without an on-site father. (Brookings Policy Brief Series, August 1996, Our Bodies Ourselves, Health Resource Center, revised May 2011).